Mr Puniverse

Day 3 of “Operation Abs”. I’ve run 8 km spread over two separate occasions & tried to lift some weights at the gym one time. And I feel like I’ve been laid on a fucking stretching rack. This morning I thought I was going to die in a pooping cubicle at work because I couldn’t get my damned jacket back on to save my life. I was bashing the sides of the thing, flapping about the place, swearing, blaspheming, wiggling & honestly, to all the others in that loo taking their ‘morning constitutionals’ it must have sounded for all the world like I was trying to pass a half-chewed Volkswagon. So in short, I & my non-operational muscles have a ways to go.

We’re on a self-imposed, seemed-like-a-really-good-idea-at-the-time, 6 week get fit bent. And as per the above, things are looking grim at day 3. Fortunately today is a rest day, so hopefully I’ll wake up tomorrow & not make that septuagenarian getting out of a car “Ooph” noise just trying to climb out of the bed. Only time will tell I guess. Well that & enough fish oil capsules to use as a ship’s ballast. I’ll either get my joints & muscles in order or I’ll grow friggin’ scales.

Also, WTF?!? Being a child of Gen Y (by a technicality), I’m all about instant gratification so the fact that it’s been SO LONG already & I still look & feel like someone that’s been living on a diet of white bread, coffee, & marshmallows for the last ten years is infuriating in the extreme. No t-shirt destroying biceps. No magic Manpower Australia tan. Nothing! Guess I’ll have to keep at it for a while...

RRRRAAAARGH!

As for my other two resolutions, progress is as follows:

• Dancing: I have a Groupon for 10 lessons in that really messy draw with all the paperwork in it. I’m getting there.
• Golf: I’ve been busy playing video games. Busy...

WHAT?!

To be continued...